Strange Guy

[Strange Guy]

Wait! Don't say

anything! You must be

an adventurer from the

Rune-Midgarts Kingdom!

So... I'm right, aren't I?

[Morris]

Allow me to

introduce myself.

My name is Morris Poe,

detective of great acclaim

and world wide fame.

Morris Poe?

Renown detective?

Advocate for justice in

the Schwarzwald Republic?

Surely you recognize one

of my esteemed titles.

You don't...?

But I'm a famous hero.

Children look up to me

and wish they'd grow

up to be as smart as me.

I don't get it.

I'm famouser than

that. A household name

even. I've got a sterling

public image, how could

you never have heard of me...?

Kidding? Ha ha!

Look at these keen,

deductive and deeply

analytical eyes and

tell me I'm joking.

Yes, this sharp,

penetrating, yet

highly intelligent gaze

belongs to the world

detective and crime

fighter, Morris Poe!

Never heard of...?

Impossible! If there are

two things I hate more

than crime, they would be

dishonesty... And rejection

from beautiful women.

When you get over your

sense of pride and gain

a little maturity, then we

might share an actual

conversation. Until then,

you'll just have to grow up.

Hahahahahaah--Huh.

If there are two things

I hate more than criminals,

they would be sarcasm...

And receiving fake phone

numbers from really cute girls.

Wah...!

Did you just--?!

Ugh, you're the worst

type of person, you know that?

I think it's too late to

apologize. Why would you

treat someone of my stature

with such caustic sarcasm?!

What excuse could possibly

exonerate your behavior?!

Of course: intense feelings

of awe and fear of my vast

intellect would result in that

kind of deviant behavior. I'll

have to forgive you, I suppose.

What...?!

Morris Poe, a loser?

Such defamatory remarks

cannot be forgiven, no

matter how unfounded

and groundless they are!

Hahaha, oh, that's

funny. Wait. You're...

You're really leaving.

N-no, come baaaack!

How did I know?

Elementary, my friend.

There was an abundance

of clues for me to make

that sort of simple deduction.

Hello...?

...............

Oh, this is embarassing.

I can't believe I'm getting

the silent treatment...

Yes, I know it's

difficult to believe that

you would be fortunate

enough to stand in the

presence of genius. Now,

you must be wondering...

You're wondering,

"How in the world

can I be as brilliant

as Morris Poe, the

genius detective?"

First, I think it's fair

to let you know that it's

an impossible dream. Men like

myself only arise in this world

perhaps once every generation.

I'm sorry, but don't give up!

Now, you can try to reach

a level of intelligence that

is comparable to my own by

joining the Young Detective's

Club. To become a member, you just need one essential article.

Yes, you will need the

Renown Detective's Cap!

Luckily, I'm giving them

away for a relatively small

material cost, but you must

hurry while supplies last.

Simply bring me

10 Magnifiers,

1887 Tassels,

1 Slotted Bucket Hat

and 1,887 zeny. That's all!

But first, let me warn you

not to bring a slotted Bucket

Hat with a card compounded to

it, or any upgraded Bucket Hats. I'm not responsible for any

loss resulting from that.

Hurry and bring me

those items! There are

only 20,000,000 Renown

Detective Caps left!

Once they're gone,

they'll be extinct!

So, did you want to

buy, er, receive this

Renown Detective's Cap

and become an honored

member of the Young

Detective's Club?

Remember, make sure

that you don't bring any

slotted Bucket Hats that

have been upgraded or have

cards compounded to them, or

you'll lose those enhancements.

Now, if you have only

1 Bucket Hat, we can begin.

Young Detective's Club... Salute!

Great, done like a pro!

Now, I need to check your

fee--I mean qualifications.

Let's see now, I need to

look through your Inventory...

Wait. You don't have

enough Magnifiers. You

do want to join this club,

don't you? Did you need to

hear the requirements again?

Magnifiers. Check.

Not enough Tassels? Check.

Tassels... Check.

Hm. You're missing

the slotted Bucket Hat.

You were so close...

Slotted Bucket Hat. Got it.

Hey. Where's the zeny?!

That's the most important,

er, qualification of all!

*Sigh* You need

Now, remember everything

that you need this time, okay?

I'll be waiting to welcome

you into the elite ranks of

the Young Detective's Club.

Aaaand zeny. Heh heh. Perfect.

Great, that's everything!

Welcome to the club! Here's

your Renown Detective's Cap,

so wear it with pride as you

take an active part in our club's

activities and promotion!

Of course, isn't it obvious?

As a member, one of your duties

will be to sing accolades of this club so that more members

will join and earn their own

Renown Detective's Caps.

Alright, scurry off

now and proudly display

your new, rakishly stylish

to all of your friends!

Huh. You just failed

the "Test of Respect."

You don't deserve the

honor of wearing the

Renowned Detective's Cap!

Have you come to me

in order to obtain another

Renown Detective's Cap?

I realize that such a stylish

headgear is in high demand.

As a proud member of

the Young Detective's Club,

did you bring everything

you need in order to earn

a Renown Detective's Cap?

What...?! Every good

detective must have a

photographic memory

and be able to recall

minute details in order

to crack the case.

Remember...

and 1,887 zeny. Okay?

Great!

Now let me just

check to see if you

brought everything...

Hmm, you don't have

enough Magnifiers? But

those are essential tools

for sleuthing. Come now,

hurry back with them!

Great! You've just qualified

to own yet another Renowned

Detective's Cap. Congratulations! Now, let me collect all of these

goods and zeny from you...

Hahaha! It's what

I expect from one of

our Junior Gold Members!

How does it feel like to be

the cream of the cream of

the crop? Great, isn't it?